Some important things might surprise you about living in France. Yes, moving to France is a dream for many, but living here is an entirely different experience. The French way of life is filled with quirks and cultural nuances that may take newcomers by surprise.
One of the best books I’ve read about life in France is 60 Million Frenchmen Can’t Be Wrong by Canadian authors Jean-Benoรฎt Nadeau and Julie Barlow. The insightful book suggests that understanding cultural nuances is key to embracing life in France. Here are 10 things that surprised me most about French life and culture.
1. Politeness Is Mandatory
The French place immense value on politeness, particularly in public. Before speaking, a simple “Bonjour, madame/monsieur” can go a long way in earning respect. However, as 60 Million Frenchmen Can’t Be Wrong explains, this isn’t about formality for formality’s sakeโit’s about acknowledging each other as individuals.
2. Lunch Is a Sacred Ritual
Lunch is more than a meal in France; it’s a daily ceremony. Shops and businesses often close for up to two hours so people can enjoy their midday break. This cultural dedication to food and relaxation reflects the French belief in savoring life.
3. Directness Is Not Rudenes
French people can come across as blunt, but this is not intended to offend. Instead, it reflects their value for honesty and intellectual debate. Nadeau and Barlow emphasize that this straightforwardness is rooted in respect for truth over sugarcoating.
4. Time Is Flexible in Social Settings
In work settings, punctuality is key. Social gatherings, however, operate on “French time,” where being a little late is perfectly acceptable. It’s a subtle but important distinction in understanding French social norms.
5. Greetings Are Personal and Regional
The French greeting la bise, or cheek kisses, can puzzle newcomers. The number of kisses varies by region, from two in Paris to up to four in Provence. It’s a warm, personal way to greet friends and acquaintances, but it may take some practice to master.
6. Customer Service Prioritizes Respect for Space
Unlike in many English-speaking countries, waiters in France won’t hover. Instead, they respect your space and let you enjoy your meal. This hands-off approach might feel like neglect to newcomers, but it is considered good service in France. Likewise, when asking for assistance in a store, the person in front of the salesperson has priority. Don’t interrupt.
7. Cheese Comes After the Main Course, Not Before
Unlike in many cultures where cheese is served as an appetizer, in France, it takes center stage after the main course but before dessert. This tradition reflects the French approach to savoring meals as a progression of flavors. A selection of cheeses is typically presented with bread (but never butterโit’s considered overkill).
8. Dressing Well Is Everyday Etiquette
Appearances are important in France, even for casual outings. The French prioritize style and self-presentation as a sign of respect for themselves and others. Sweatpants in public? Only if you’re heading to the gym.
9. Bureaucracy Is a Part of Daily Life
French bureaucracy is notoriously complex and time-consuming. Whether applying for a visa or setting up utilities, be prepared for multiple forms, appointments, and follow-ups. As frustrating as it can be, this process is deeply embedded in the French administrative system.
10. Strikes are a National Pasttime
Strikes and protests are woven into French culture. Although they can be a nuisance, they are considered essential expressions of democracy and workers’ rights. The book 60 Million Frenchmen describes strikes as the workers’ equivalent of a tea kettle “blowing off steam.”
Why These Surprises Matter
Adapting to life in France means embracing its unique cultural differences. As Nadeau and Barlow emphasize in 60 Million Frenchmen Can’t Be Wrong, these quirks aren’t just idiosyncrasies but are deeply rooted in history and values. Understanding them helps you integrate and appreciate the richness of French life. Take lunch, for instance. While it may initially feel inconvenient to find shops closed, it reflects the French commitment to savoring moments. Similarly, navigating the bureaucracy, though frustrating, can teach patience and resilience.
Embrace the Adventure
Living in France is an adventure that requires an open mind and a willingness to adapt. Each quirk offers a deeper understanding of what makes France so special. If you’re planning a move to France, take these surprises in stride. Over time, what might seem baffling now could become what you cherish most. With an open mind and a sense of humor, you’ll find it’s an adventure worth taking.ย
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4 Responses
‘Dressing Well Is Everyday Etiquette -Appearances are important in France, even for casual outings’? Absolutely not! Jeans and casual wear are the national uniform. Even professionals, such as doctors, teachers and government officials, dress casually, which is a big contrast to what is expected in the UK for example. I recently went to a funeral in Bordeaux and I a jacket, tie, smart trousers and polished shoes. I was the only one. All the french people there, which was mostly family of the deceased, wore jeans, trainers and other casual clothing. It’s just what people seem to do now in France. ‘Dressing well’ seems to have been forgotten.
Thank you for your comment. “Dressing Well” to me means dressing respectively for the occasion — not sweat pants. Today, jeans, short pants and skirts are stylish (as in the 60’s!) and acceptable in most venues. I agree, it’s rare to see a tie.
Love this post. And it is spot on accurate!
Thanks, Ginny. I think the one that continues to surprise me is the attention of wait staff in a shop. They attend to the business in front of them. There’s no one flagging them down for attention… unless it’s a tourist! That’s what I LOVE about France!