Why I Moved to France at 74: Embracing the Expat Life After Retirement

Welcome to the next in a series of interviews with my friends and neighbors in France aimed at helping Americans, especially those 55 and older, who are considering moving to France. “Why I Moved to France at 74” is the story of Paula, my long-time friend from the United States. Our paths are similar but very different. Fortunately, she chose to live in Uzés, where we continue our fun and friendship. Here’s Paula’s experience with the expat move in her own words. 

At 74, I moved to France with six suitcases, a dog, and a friend who came as a bag carrier and dog walker. I sold my house and most of my belongings but kept a storage locker with enough for a one-bedroom apartment in case the France thing didn’t work out. I had two years of French in high school, which a little math will tell you was in the late fifties early sixties. I’ve never looked back.

It started in 2001 when I met Deborah Bine in Beijing. Her son and friends of mine were with the New York Chorale Society, and they had been invited to perform in Beijing and Shanghai. I had a book called “Born to Shop Beijing, Shanghai, and HongKong”; it was like a magnet…immediate friendship. Fast forward to 2014, I had just retired, and I saw a notice on LinkedIn saying Debby Bine had retired, got a divorce, sold everything, and moved to France. I sent her a note saying, “You are my hero,” and she responded, “Come see me” I did and came back thinking, “damn, if she can do it, so can I.” It took three years, but finally, my house sold, my belongings sold, and we were off (we, being me and Toby my dog).

I was used to moving because I had moved for work…Atlanta, Salt Lake City, Seattle, Cincinnati, Washington, DC, and then the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia. In addition, I traveled for work, so I didn’t think moving to a foreign country, where I didn’t speak the language, was a big deal. HAH!

Uzès, as beautiful as it is, was not my first choice because I wanted a town with a train station, local bus transportation, etc. I was all over the map….I’d read an article or a blog and think…that sounds nice,…and I’d start investigating. The day my house sold, Deborah contacted me to say friends had an apartment they rented to vacationers but were looking for something more permanent for a year, and would I be interested. She put us in touch, we FaceTimed, and the next thing I knew, I had a beautiful place to live, in Uzès. My first night there, (October with the leaves turning and a beautiful moon shining) walking the dog, I thought “why would I ever live anywhere else.” And I’ve never turned back.

People say: “You are so brave.” I’ve never felt particularly brave because I moved to a beautiful place, with a great community; the truly brave, IMHO, are those who move to a small village, or to a farm, don’t speak the language or understand the mechanics of life abroad and thrive.

What’s the best decision I made?

Besides deciding to make this move, asking my friend Phillip to help me on my way to Uzès was my best decision. I was picking up a car in Paris, and I had dog and crate, plus three large suitcases (the others came via SendMyBag.com). We arrived on the 28th, and the apartment wasn’t available until the 1st, so we overnighted in Provins, somewhere in Burgandy for two nights, and Pöet La Lavelle (a beautiful old village). Having him with me for the aforementioned luggage and dog help and to have someone with me in the apartment and discovering the town gave me such a sense of comfort.

And about that storage locker for a one-bedroom apartment? It was emptied last month and the contents sold. I haven’t been back to the States (no children, so no need…..except I miss Trader Joe’s and TJ Maxx), and have no plans to go. I guess you might say it’s been a successful move.

Making the Move: What You Need to Know

What else do you need to be a successful expat, in addition to the usual things like financial independence and an independent attitude?

• A sense of adventure
• A willingness to listen when the Universe speaks..like the Universe knew I belonged in Uzès.
• Comfortable being alone, because you won’t make friends overnight (being alone, and lonely, are not the same thing).
• Flexibility, because no matter how prepared you think you are, things are different in a foreign country (actually, they are different from region to region in the US).
• A willingness to humiliate yourself on a daily basis by not understanding or by communicating in a different language.
• A strong sense of Independence. People have been so helpful and willing to share time, advice, and experience, but too much dependence wears thin.
• A dog. When you establish your walking routine, you will see the same people, then you start saying “bonjour” and smiling. Just that simple recognition of someone else gives one a sense of belonging.

Paula and Toby

Toby

The “stairway!”

Thank you, Paula, for sharing your brave journey with the readers of French Footsteps. Your story is a reminder that it’s never too late to chase new adventures and embrace a dream, even if it leads to to life in a new country. I’m so grateful you took the time to inspire us!