Manners, greetings, and respect. The importance of “bonjour” in France.
I grew up in the American South, where good manners were expected. You greeted everyone, whether you knew them or not. A simple nod, a smile, or a cheerful ‘hello’ as you passed by. It was more than courtesy—it was a kind of shared humanity. Those habits defined the way I saw the world: through connection. Through acknowledgment.
However, over time, and especially in more urban parts of the U.S., that small ritual of greeting began to fade away. People became more private, less likely to look up, more likely to keep to themselves. Phones replaced eye contact. Earbuds replaced conversation. Silence replaced community.
When I arrived in France, I noticed something both different and familiar. Greetings still mattered. In fact, they were essential.
Here in the South of France, it’s expected that you say ‘bonjour’—and mean it. Not because it’s nice. Because bonjour in France is respectful. Whether you’re speaking to the woman behind the cheese counter, the bus driver, or someone walking past with their dog, a proper ‘bonjour’ is how you begin. You acknowledge before you engage.
During the COVID lockdown, even that was paused. I remember one moment that has stayed with me: walking down the street in Uzès during those early tense days. Masks on. No smiles. No greetings. No words at all. It felt cold and wrong, as though the very fabric of daily life had been ripped away.
But eventually, the greetings returned. Restaurants opened, local festivals resumed, and along with other familiar routines, the ‘bonjour’ came back. Quietly. Confidently. Firmly. A reminder that the desire for connection still matters.
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Now, a day doesn’t pass without hearing it. When I step into the boulangerie, the pharmacy, or a local café, I hear: ‘Bonjour, madame.’ It’s simple. It’s subtle. And it’s expected. It’s the unspoken agreement that we see each other. That presence matters. That even in a fast-paced world, we still have time for acknowledgment.
This is one of the many reasons why I love life in the South of France. These small rituals—like greetings—become anchors. They remind me to slow down. To pay attention. To connect. And once you adopt them, you feel their absence.
What I continue to love about France is that the pace here is different. People are not always in a rush. Manners still mean something. Everyday interactions are not reduced to merely transactions.
I do what I’ve learned to do. Whether I’m on a walk, standing in line at the store, or passing someone on the street, I pause. I look up. I meet their eyes. I smile. And I say: ‘Bonjour.’ And the world opens up just a little.
If you’re planning to spend time in France, or even thinking about retiring here, take note of these unspoken rules. They’re easy to miss but essential to fitting in. This small gesture is your entry point—not just to conversation, but to connection.
Coming soon!
After twelve years of living in France and paying close attention to daily culture, I’ve gathered some of the most essential customs into a short, practical guide. It’s perfect for travelers, future expats, or anyone curious about what it really means to live like a local.
👉 French Etiquette — Living Like a Local in the South of France
*A short guide to greetings, table manners, invitations, and the rhythm of everyday life in France.*
