Manners, greetings, and respect. The importance of “bonjour” in France.
I grew up in the American South, where good manners were expected. You greeted everyone, whether you knew them or not. A simple nod, a smile, or a cheerful ‘hello’ as you passed by. It was more than courtesy—it was a kind of shared humanity. Those habits defined the way I saw the world: through connection. Through acknowledgment.
However, over time, and especially in more urban parts of the U.S., that small ritual of greeting began to fade away. People became more private, less likely to look up, more likely to keep to themselves. Phones replaced eye contact. Earbuds replaced conversation. Silence replaced community.
When I arrived in France, I noticed something both different and familiar. Greetings still mattered. In fact, they were essential.
Here in the South of France, it’s expected that you say ‘bonjour’—and mean it. Not because it’s nice. Because bonjour in France is respectful. Whether you’re speaking to the woman behind the cheese counter, the bus driver, or someone walking past with their dog, a proper ‘bonjour’ is how you begin. You acknowledge before you engage.
During the COVID lockdown, even that was paused. I remember one moment that has stayed with me: walking down the street in Uzès during those early tense days. Masks on. No smiles. No greetings. No words at all. It felt cold and wrong, as though the very fabric of daily life had been ripped away.
But eventually, the greetings returned. Restaurants opened, local festivals resumed, and along with other familiar routines, the ‘bonjour’ came back. Quietly. Confidently. Firmly. A reminder that the desire for connection still matters, weaving people together in ways both seen and unseen, restoring the gentle rhythm of everyday life in France.
Now, a day doesn’t pass without hearing it. When I step into the boulangerie, the pharmacy, or a local café, I hear: ‘Bonjour, madame.’ It’s simple. It’s subtle. And it’s expected. It’s the unspoken agreement that we see each other. That presence matters. That even in a fast-paced world, we still have time for acknowledgment.
This is one of the many reasons why I love life in the South of France. These small rituals—like greetings—become anchors. They remind me to slow down. To pay attention. To connect. And once you adopt them, you feel their absence.
“Bonjour” in France
What I continue to love about France is that the pace here is different. People are not always in a rush. Manners still mean something. Everyday interactions are not reduced to merely transactions.
I do what I’ve learned to do. Whether I’m on a walk, standing in line at the store, or passing someone on the street, I pause. I look up. I meet their eyes. I smile. And I say: ‘Bonjour.’ And the world opens up just a little.
If you’re planning to spend time in France, or even thinking about retiring here, take note of these unspoken rules. They’re easy to miss but essential to fitting in. This small gesture is your entry point—not just to conversation, but to connection.
Coming soon!
After twelve years of living in France and paying close attention to daily culture, I’ve gathered some of the most essential customs into a short, practical guide. It’s perfect for travelers, future expats, or anyone curious about what it really means to live like a local.
👉 French Etiquette — Living Like a Local in the South of France
*A short guide to greetings, table manners, invitations, and the rhythm of everyday life in France.*
31 Responses
Merci for your wonderful newsletter!!!
Merci for following the Barefoot Blogger. Hope you enjoy the ride! Stay tuned …
Unfortunately they are not as forthcoming with ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ !!
Interesting comment, Seb. I’ll have to take notice. Thank you!
Yes- I love the culture too. I feel the French are a classy and honest people. They take pride in what they do from Architecture to how they wrap pastries in a box. I just love the culture. Great essay on a subtle trait that expresses so much more,
Thanks, John. Always glad to hear from you. Stay tuned!
Bonjour et Merci!
Yes! Merci!
Bonjour ma belle amie <3
❤️🌈
Interesting how you found things changed during the early days of covid. We found the opposite. People greeted each other while out walking but were careful to keep their distance.
I think the difference here in France was that faces were covered during covid. A lot of the “bonjour” response comes from seeing a facial expression. Glad to hear from you, Vivien. Thanks for the observations.
I love this, Deborah! Thanks for sharing.
Eric
You’re so very welcomed, Eric. Thank you for taking time to send a note. It means a lot to know you’re out there!
Thank you for helping us remember how nice it is to care each other, even those we don’t know.
I will add don’t paw the fruit and veggies, and ask the proprietor of the pretty tiny boutique if it is ok to look through a stack of silk scarves.
Also, to me, when I’ve not made a purchase, I think it is especially nice to say ‘thank you’ .
Yes, market manners would be a good blogpost! Thanks for the suggestions… and for your note!
What a great tip! I will put “Bonjour” into regular practice when I visit France next week.
Oh yes, saying “bonjour” makes you feel more at “home.” When I’m back visiting in the US, I sometimes come out with it accidentally! Quelle surprise to one on the receiving end. Thank you for your kind note. Stay tuned …
Thank you, such great information. Net time I’m nervous I’m saying it wrong I will say it anyway
LOL! You’re absolutely right, Carole. Even if you mess up the language, the effort is there. I’m sure the French appreciate good intentions. Thanks for your note and for taking time to read the BFB. It’s better knowing you’re here!
Lovely newsletter! Love the tips! I am Canadian and was raised to greet everyone politely, but a reminder is always a good thing. Merci beaucoup:-)
Thanks for your note, Lori. I hadn’t thought about how people greet each other in French Canada. Good to know!
Also a ‘thank you’ in a store or restaurant doesn’t go amiss, nor does the equivalents of ‘Have a nice day’ and ‘You are welcome’.
It’s so much a part of the day now to hear these nice words. Just wish the whole world would take note. What a wonderful life it could be. Thank you for the reminder, Liz. And thanks for joining me on this journey ….
Unlike many places, the fabric of society in provincial France is not yet torn apart. I’m an American expat in another country and enjoy the closeness and friendliness of the local community.
Lovely missive on the importance of “bonjour.” I wish all visitors to France would embrace the importance of this custom.
You are so right, Leslie. It’s a courtesy we owe to those who are sharing their country with us. I appreciate your noting this importance. Thanks for following!
I totally agree with the use of good manners in every social interaction. We have just returned to NZ from Europe including France and had many conversations with locals that started with a good day in their language. For something that costs so little to do the payback is enormous.
If you watch for this in your everyday meetings, it’s hard to believe what a difference a “hello” or “thank you” can mean. We never know what’s going on in the lives of those we encounter. Just be kind. Thank you for your comment!! Hope you’ll stay in touch. Bonne journée!
Thank you for your wonderful newsletter, so informative! Looking forward to your French Etiquette posting, as we have 2 months in Nice early 2026, and certainly want to be respectful to those we meet.
The French Etiquette post is in the works. Thank you for asking, and for your kind remarks. I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me. Keep in tough about your visit to Nice. I’m heading there again in a few weeks. It’s one of my favorite places! Stay tuned …